What's your filter of choice?



"Lying is less drama", "ignorance is bliss", "denial is peaceful", "hiding feelings is better than rejection", "fake strength hides real tears", "putting them down makes me less insecure", "talking louder makes them listen", "jokes distract from the reality", "dominance makes me seem ruthless", "being busy shows them I'm important", "showing my love takes the ball away from my court", "hashtags make my life look more fun", "I'm too old for this", "I'm too sober for this", "I'll fake it till I make it".

We wake up, brush our teeth, drink our caffeine, put on our filters and go-go-go. Most days, these filters serve their purpose well. Filters, like the ones we put on our pictures, can help us put on a strong front when we need the extra boost. Filters can help us be optimistic of a future we want to work towards. Filters, like masks, not only make our own realities enjoyable, but also allow us to bear that of others.

But some days we forget to take them off when we return. We allow ourselves back into our reality with a filter held so strong and high that it starts to overshadow who we are. It starts to seem more important than our values and personality. We allow it to confuse us and we tell ourselves that it keeps us from being lonely. That no one will like us without them. That we wouldn't like ourselves without them. That we need them to survive.

Guess what? You're in charge of how high you hold it up and how long you want to hide in it's glow. And when it seems too sticky to be put down, you are also in charge of allowing others to step over to your side and help you. Who knows, you might become the reason they are able to put theirs aside for a while too.

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A designation of BC Association of Clinical Counsellors

Vancouver, BC

© 2019 Shivani Agarwal  |  Clinical Counselling  |  Art Therapy

Shivani Agarwal, RCC, CCC, MCP-AT